Do not fireplace off any well-aimed arrows if you have not seen Season 3 Episode 6 of “Home of the Dragon” — spoilers forward!
Through the opening minutes of the sixth episode of “Home of the Dragon” Season 3 — the primary prequel and spin-off set within the “Recreation of Thrones” universe, which has turn out to be a success for HBO identical to its predecessor — we see Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel), lover and constant soldier to the Inexperienced chief and dowager queen Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke), strategy a battlefield crammed with seemingly fallen Tully males. Approached by enemy forces, together with the aforementioned Tullys and their allies the Blackwoods, Ser Criston asks who killed all of those fighters, and immediately, they assault Criston and his males.
They have been, because it seems, simply pretending to be useless to lure Criston right into a lure. He fights nicely and survives the preliminary melee, screaming the Hightower motto “We gentle the way in which!” earlier than Blackwoods name his identify. After calling him a “traitor, usurper, and defier of justice,” Criston asks for his males to be spared after seeing the huge Blackwood military and tries to haggle with them concerning a battle, providing himself in battle towards two Blackwoods.
“Will that be sufficient to make a struggle of it?” Criston asks earlier than getting sniped by Alysanne Blackwood (Annie Shapero), who lands a number of arrows in his torso and, in the end, his face. Lastly. Our lengthy worldwide nightmare is over. Ser Criston Cole is useless, and “Home of the Dragon” followers are free of his very existence. So why is that this so nice? As a result of, with out query, Criston is the worst character the Seven Kingdoms have ever seen. (Nicely, he is not less than tied with Pilou Asbæk’s Euron Greyjoy, however nonetheless.)
All my Home of the Dragon homies hate Criston Cole
Why are “Home of the Dragon” followers so joyful to see Ser Criston Cole get sniped by way of the cheek? As a result of he friggin’ sucks. After we first meet him in Season 1, he is personally chosen by then-Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen (Milly Alcock as an adolescent and Emma D’Arcy as an grownup) to function her private protector in his capability as a member of the Kingsguard. Rhaenyra impulsively seduces Criston one evening — which is barely an issue for Criston insofar because the Kingsguard explicitly forbids its males to get into intimate conditions — and Criston falls so exhausting for her that he begs her to surrender her declare to the throne and run away with him. When she understandably turns down his proposal, Criston turns towards her roughly instantly, aligning himself with Rhaenyra’s stepmother, former greatest good friend, and enemy Queen Alicent Hightower (Emily Carey as a teen and Olivia Cooke as an grownup).
You see the issue right here? A woman rejected Criston, and he determined to align himself with a lady who actively desires her useless. Season 2 of “Home of the Dragon” does not make Criston look any higher; he is secretly sleeping with Alicent (I assume breaking his vows does not matter a lot to him anymore, huh?) and is caught in a compromising place as her grandchildren get brutally murdered in one of many sickest scenes we have seen but on “Home of the Dragon.” After that, Criston sends males to assassinate Rhaenyra as a result of, once more, he sucks.
Put merely, Criston is a weaselly little creep and hypocrite who prides himself on his honor whereas additionally continually being dishonorable. You know the way if a man self-describes as “good,” it in all probability means he is an enormous jerk? That is Criston!
Ser Criston additionally dies carrying a torch for a girls who did not significantly care about him
Proper earlier than Criston begins attempting to struggle the impassable military of Home Blackwood, he pulls a handkerchief out of his sleeve … one which’s adorned with a cursive A. Clearly, this belongs to Alicent Hightower, a lady who, at this level within the “Home of the Dragon” narrative, does not appear significantly enthusiastic about him past the truth that he is a heat physique and keen lover.
Once more, the whole Alicent state of affairs simply illustrates Criston’s hypocrisy; they’re two consenting adults, and in a super world, they may do no matter they need. Ser Criston is, nonetheless, nonetheless within the Kingsguard, so he should not be sleeping with anybody — not to mention the dowager queen he is sworn to serve. Additionally, frankly, I get why Alicent appears fully bored with Criston’s firm after he neglects his duties to crawl into her mattress, leading to her toddler grandson getting his head sawed off by a few employed goons; no carnal pleasure is price that, absolutely.
Criston is a nasty, high-and-mighty catastrophe of a person. I wasn’t simply joyful to see that arrow undergo his cheek; I used to be completely thrilled. All males should die (or, as they are saying in Excessive Valyrian, valar morghulis), and within the universe of “Recreation of Thrones” and, specifically, “Home of the Dragon,” just about everybody does need to die, contemplating that this prequel facilities on the lethal Targaryen civil battle referred to as the Dance of the Dragons. With that, I bid a not-so-fond farewell to Ser Criston Cole, who sucked.
“Home of the Dragon” airs new episodes each Sunday at 9 P.M. EST, and the Season 3 finale airs on Sunday, August 9.
